Lactation Narration

There is a lot of confusion about proper breast milk storage. That is because it seems like every source is giving us conflicting information on this topic! Some moms go by “the rule of 8″: 8 hours at room temperature, 8 days in the refrigerator, 8 months in the freezer. I’ve also heard this as the rule of 6 or the rule of 10 though. Which is right? Here is a compilation of the guidelines from a variety of sources. It is interesting to note how the guidelines differ based on the interests of the source.

Let’s start with some breastfeeding advocates:

Now let’s look at the guidelines from medical sources:

Now let’s look at the guidelines from companies who make breast pumps and accessories:

And finally, let’s look at the guidelines given by formula companies:

I’m not going to tell you which of these are the “right” guidelines, but after seeing the commonalities and differences, you can make a more informed decision for yourself.

*Note that cells are blank where I could find no recommendation for this condition from this source

I am proud and honored to be volunteer with the Natural Parents Network (NPN), a community of natural-minded parents and parents-to-be where you will be informed, empowered, and inspired. When you visit the NPN’s website you can find articles and posts about Activism, Balance, Consistent Care, Ecological Responsibility, Family Safety, Feeding With Love, Gentle Discipline, Healthy Living, Holistic Health, Natural Learning, Nurturing Touch, Parenting Philosophies, Practical Home Help, Preparing for Parenting, Responding With Sensitivity, Safe Sleep, and so much more!

The volunteers who dedicate their time and energy to make NPN the outstanding resource it is also spend countless hours informing and inspiring others on their personal blogs. To close out 2011, the NPN volunteers have come together to provide you with some valuable reading material. Each volunteer has selected either their most viewed post of 2011 or their favorite post and shared the link here. Please take a few moments to visit each post. Our intention is to expand our reach as bloggers and informed parents and parents-to-be who are still growing as we move through our own journeys. Each volunteer has provided links to other social media sites where you can follow them as well.

We hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as we enjoyed writing them. We are always looking for new volunteers so please, contact us if you are interested. Just a few hours per month can help other mamas in a huge way!

Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter shares her Christmas Cookie Swap Blog Hop, which is her fourth annual virtual cookie swap and most popular post of the year. Please stop by and link up your favorite holiday recipe until Dec. 31. You can find Farmer’s Daughter on Facebook and Twitter.

Adrienne from Mommying My Way shares Fear vs. Faith, one of her favorite posts about how often living a life of faith can look like a life of fear, but the two are really quite different. You can also find Mommying My Way on Facebook.

Alicia of Lactation Narration retells the story of her oldest daughter’s 5 years of nursing and weaning in her favorite post of 2011, The Weaning Party. You can find Lactation Narration on Facebook and Twitter.

Amy of Toddler In Tow shares Finding My Mommy-Zen, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, she shares her desire to balance her own self-esteem by choice in order to parent with peace and compassion. You can also find Toddler In Tow on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter, and follow Amyables (Amy W.) on Google + and Ravelry.

Arpita of Up, Down, and Natural shares one of her most popular posts titled Reflections. This is a beautiful look at the type of mother she wants to be. You can find Up, Down, and Natural on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares Why Do Children Have More Food Allergies Than Ever Before?, her most viewed post of 2011. This post explains the shocking info that one unsuspecting mother discovered when she started researching why her daughter had a violent allergic reaction to eggs. This is a must read post for ensuring the health of your family. You can also find I Thought I Knew Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Stumbleupon.

Christine of African Babies Don’t Cry shares The Best First Food for Babies, one of her favourite posts of 2011. This well-researched post delves into the healthiest and most nutritious food to feed your baby. You can also find African Babies Don’t Cry on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest.

Cynthia of The Hippie Housewife shares Gentle Discipline for Toddlers, her most viewed post of 2011. This post describes five gentle discipline tools for parenting toddlers. You can also find The Hippie Housewife on Facebook, Google +, and Pinterest.

Darcel of The Mahogany Way shares Babywearing As a Way of Life one of her favorite post of 2011. This post showcases some beautiful woven wraps that she has purchased, traded, borrowed, and sold over the years. Darcel also talks about the benefits of babywearing from the newborn through toddler stage. You can also find Darcel{ The Mahogany Way} on Facebook, Twitter, Her Community for Mothers of Color, and Pinterest.

Dionna of Code Name Mama shares 50 Healthy Snack Ideas for Kids Plus Fun Serving Suggestions, her most viewed post of 2011. Most of these snacks are quick to fix and portable, so you can pack them to send with your child on play dates, at preschool, or to just have handy in the refrigerator for when your child wants to grab a bite to eat “all by himself.” You can find Dionna on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube.

Erica at ChildOrganics shares a post that is not only close to her heart, but also her most viewed post for 2011 titled Attachment Parenting in the NICU. This post shares her top 10 tips for parenting should you find yourself with a baby in the NICU. You can also find Erica on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Gretchen of That Mama Gretchen shares her personal experience of returning to work, expressing milk, and the ups and downs in between in her 2011 most viewed post, Mama’s Milk. You can also find Gretchen on GFC, Blog Lovin’, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Isil of Smiling like Sunshine shares how to make an autumn tree using pumpkin seeds, her most popular post in 2011. This post features a lovely craft activity that you can do with your kids! You can also find Isil on Facebook and Twitter.

Jennifer of Hybrid Rasta Mama shares 80 Uses For Coconut Oil, her most viewed post of 2011. This comprehensive post provides background information on the benefits of coconut oil as well as outlines 80 uses for it. You can also find Hybrid Rasta Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

Jennifer of True Confessions of a Real Mommy shares her most popular post of 2011, Weekly House Blessing (Otherwise Known as Cleaning Once a Week). This post outlines a once per week cleaning routine for busy moms. You can also find Jennifer on Twitter.

Joella, the mama behind Fine and Fair, shares An Unusual Gripe with Bebe Gluton, one of her most popular posts of 2011. In it, she discusses the controversy surrounding a “breastfeeding doll” and offers her take on the gender role implications of dolls in general. Fine and Fair can also be found on twitter and facebook.

Julia of A Little Bit of All of It shares the story of how her co-sleeping relationship ended with her daughter, her most viewed post of 2011. This post shows how her daughter transitioned to her own bed on her 2nd birthday and the emotions involved for her mom. You can also find A Little Bit of All of It on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares True Blessings: White Noise and Grandparents, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, Kat talks about how she maximizes getting sleep and how grateful and blessed she is to have her parents be so involved in helping and spending time with her kiddos.

Kelly of Becoming Crunchy shares That Cup Does What?, her most viewed post of 2011. This post is one of a series of reviews and information on switching to all natural menstrual products – having heard so many different options and recommendations, Kelly decided to give a whole bunch of them a try and pull all the reviews together in one week for anyone interested in making the switch. This post in particular covers the ins and outs of the Diva Cup. You can also find Becoming Crunchy on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest.

Kristin of Intrepid Murmurings shares a popular post from 2011, something she and her husband made for their girls for Christmas, great for open-ended play and construction: Handmade Tree Blocks. You can also find Kristin on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.

Lani of Boobie Time shares Helping a Fellow Breastfeeding Mom, her inspiration for starting to blog. This post discusses the importance of fellow moms supporting each other and some tips on having a successful breastfeeding relationship. Lani can also be found on Facebook.

Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door writes about finally entering “spring” when her child with special needs begins preschool. After battling post-partum mental illness (post tramatic stress disorder) after the preterm birth of her third child, she finally begins to feel healthy and whole again in “It’s Fall, Ya’ll-Again.”

Lauren of Hobo Mama shares On not having an AP poster child, her (OK, second) most viewed post of 2011. Lauren’s first child shook her certainty that attachment parenting meant babies never cried and toddlers grew independent — and that’s all right, too. You can also find Hobo Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

Luschka of Diary of a First Child shares Lactivism, Breastfeeding, Bottlefeeding and Mothers at War, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This post discusses how the breastfeeding/bottle feeding debate causes a division between mothers, leading to the alienation of women and babies, while divisive companies prosper. You can also find Diary of a First Child on Facebook, and Twitter.

Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares how With Privilege Comes Responsibility, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This compelling post explains her strong felt desire to stand up for those less privileged. You can also find Living Peacefully with Children on Facebook.

Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings shares a Montessori-Inspired Checklist for Choosing Toys, her most popular post of 2011. The article outlines some important Montessori principles and how they relate to children’s toys, translating that into some simple guiding principles. You can also find Melissa on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

Melissa of White Noise shares Modern Day Wet Nurse, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, Melissa shares the benefits of human breast milk and human milk sharing. You can also find Melissa at Mothers of Change.

Momma Jorje shares Amniocentesis – What is it *really* like?, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This open and honest series offers not only the technical process of amniocentesis, but also the emotions involved in awaiting (and receiving) the procedure and a diagnosis. Momma Jorje can also be found on Facebook.

Moorea of MamaLady: Adventures in Queer Parenting shares Fluoride: Another Reason Breast Is Best, her favorite post of 2011. This post provides research on the harmful effects of fluoride in drinking water for babies and toddlers and ways to limit fluoride consumption in your home. You can also find MamaLady on Facebook and Twitter and her Parent Coaching Site.

Rachael at The Variegated Life is Calling the Muse in her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, she describes how she uses ritual to help her tap into her creative spirit. You can also find Rachael on Twitter and The Variegated Life on Facebook.

Rebekah and Chris from Liberated Family shares Using Cloth In a Disposable Society, their favorite post of 2011. This extensive post provides a lot of information regarding the varied uses of cloth as well as the many benefits. You can also find Liberated Family on Twitter.

Sarah at Parenting God’s Children shares her most viewed post: Confessions of a Breastfeeding Advocate: I Couldn’t. She confesses her struggles with breastfeeding her daughters, but shares why she’ll continue the good fight. You can also find Sarah on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

Seonaid of The Practical Dilettante offers a science- and reverence-based meditation on The Living Earth, her most viewed post of 2011. This meditation was originally written for Earth Day, but it provides a way to reconnect with your place in the living breathing planet at any time of year. You can also find Seonaid on Facebook, Twitter, and Google +.

Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes shares I Recommend (But Moira Likes This Book Too), her most viewed post of 2011. This post is a review of a wonderful book that talks about all the different ways that families can be made up, along with some of why this topic is so important to her family.

Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares her experiences with tandem nursing in Tandem Nursing – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, her most viewed post of 2011. You can also find Sheryl on Twitter.

Stay tuned for some amazing posts from all of these tremendous bloggers in 2012!

Just a short note to show off my pumpkin carved with the international breastfeeding symbol. Inspired by peaceful parenting.

My pumpkin

International Breastfeeding Symbol, for reference

Did anyone else carve advocacy pumpkins? Please share!

A mom told me today that she would like to nurse until 12 months, but she is hesitant to nurse much longer because she thinks that a child who can ask to nurse is too old to nurse. This is not the first time I’ve heard this kind of statement, that a child who can “ask for it”, or a child who can walk or one with teeth, is too old to nurse, and that these actions show that the child no longer “needs” to nurse.

The only reason I can think of why someone would link the ability to ask with the appropriateness of nursing is that they associate nursing only with infants. It has nothing to do with a biological indicator of readiness to wean being connected to the ability to speak. The act of a child asking for something can’t possibly have anything to do with a parent not giving it to them. Nobody thinks “if he’s old enough to ask for juice then he’s too old to drink it.” That makes no sense.

Sweets showing off her teeth at 2+ years

What she is really reacting to here is just her perception of “what babies do,” and talking/asking is apparently her cutoff between babyhood and toddlerhood. It’s similar to when others say that when he can walk he’s too old. There is no actual link between walking and nursing. These things actually have nothing to do with each other! Why would a child’s ability to walk show that the child no longer needs to nurse?

The emergence of teeth at least makes a little more sense when discussing weaning age, however it is obvious that an infant with a few teeth would not be able to survive on food alone, therefore the emergence of first teeth is also not a good biological indicator for weaning readiness. A better indication, if you wanted to use teeth, could be a complete set of teeth, which may happen around 2 years old (my 2.5 year old doesn’t have all of them yet though).

Aside from the fact that different children will walk, talk, and teethe at a wide spread of ages, these factors just do not indicate readiness to wean because there is no reason to think that nursing should be restricted only to infants.  Biologically, mother’s milk is still providing needed nutrition and immunities to toddlers, not to mention comfort, warmth, and attention.

Sweets nursing at 2 years

I’ve heard some say that a toddler no longer “needs” to nurse after 12 months because at that age he can digest cow’s milk.  I would counter that humans, in fact, don’t “need” to drink cow’s milk at all!  Toddlers do still have a biological need for milk, but while they could drink cow’s milk after 12 months, cow’s milk is still just a substitute for their mother’s milk, just as formula milk is a substitute before 12 months. The age when a formula-fed baby no longer “needs” formula and can switch to cow’s milk is not actually equivalent to when a breastfed baby no longer “needs” breast milk. Cow’s milk is not the end goal. As long as a child still needs milk in her diet at all, I would say that that child “needs” breastmilk, though of course other milks such as formula milk and cow’s milk are adequate substitutes when this is not possible or desired.

The latest nursing-in-public scandal involves a mother who was nursing in her gym (Pure Fitness). The gym did not want her to nurse in the child care area because they were concerned about children being exposed to breastfeeding without their parents’ specific consent. (It is interesting to note that no actual parent complaints were noted) The quote from the gym included:

We feel that children should not be exposed to these events without every parent being ok with their child being exposed to the action.

This incident reminded me of my own nursing-at-child care experience.  Munchkin never took a bottle, even when I went back to work full-time. One of the ways that I dealt with that was by nursing her at daycare on my lunch break each day. When Munchkin was 15 months old, she was scheduled to move from the infant room to the toddler room, and I was informed that I would not be able to nurse her in the toddler room at daycare. I was told that if I would like to nurse her, I could bring her into the infant room and nurse there, or into the staff lounge, but they felt that it was inappropriate to expose the toddlers to breastfeeding because some of their parents might object (though there had been no parental complaints at that time). I objected to this decision, and wrote a letter to the director of the center detailing my reasons:

1) Breastfeeding is not just for infants

By requiring a mother to nurse her toddler in the infant room, you are implicitly saying that nursing is an activity that is appropriate only for infants, which is incorrect.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) currently recommends breastfeeding for at least one year because of the associated health benefits to the infant. The US Department of Health and Human Services’ Healthy People 2010 objective is 75% of US mothers initiating breastfeeding and 25% still breastfeeding their children at 12 months of age by the year 2010. According to the CDC, in North Carolina currently only 61% of babies are breastfed initially and 17.6% are still breastfed at one year, which is below the national average, and falls far short of the recommendations. The statistics for working mothers are far worse. According to one study of employed US mothers who started out breastfeeding, only 58% continued after returning to work from maternity leave, and only 5% were still nursing at 12 months.

Breastfeeding continues to benefit toddlers nutritionally and psychologically. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) states that “Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child… Increased duration of breastfeeding confers significant health and developmental benefits for the child and the mother… There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer.” (AAP 2005) The World Health Organization (WHO) exceeds the AAP recommendations and advises breastfeeding for at least two years. This goal is difficult enough to meet for working mothers who are separated from their babies for a significant part of the day, without the negative social pressure that you are currently a part of.

2) Breastfeeding is not indecent, and does not need to be hidden from other children or parents

When you ask me to hide my breastfeeding, it makes me feel that you think breastfeeding is dirty, indecent, or shameful (or otherwise why should it be hidden?). It makes me feel that you think my breastfeeding is something to be ashamed of instead of something to be proud of.  Breastfeeding is not obscene, indecent, or impolite. It is a normal, natural, everyday parenting activity and is a way for me to feed, comfort, and bond with my baby.

No parents have come forward to express discomfort with my breastfeeding at daycare as of this time, so removing me and my child from the room is a response to a potential future complaint. Even if others are uncomfortable, you are then putting the prejudicial social mores of those others above the real needs and feelings of myself and my child.

3) My right to breastfeed is protected by the law

North Carolina law gives me the right to breastfeed anywhere I am authorized to be, whether that location is public or private. If you wish to not allow me to breastfeed in the toddler room, then you would have to revoke my authorization to be in that room. This would go against your already existing open-door policy, as stated in the parent manual: “We do have an Open Door Policy for all enrolled families. Once enrolled, parents are allowed, and even encouraged, to participate in their child’s classroom and in Center events.”

North Carolina law states:
N.C. Gen. Stat. sec. 14-190.9
(B) Notwithstanding any other provision of law, a woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.

4) I enjoy being in my daughter’s classroom

Munchkin (18 months) in the toddler room at daycare

One of the things I like about visiting my daughter at lunchtime is that it gives me a chance to talk to her teachers about how her day is going and what activities they are planning. I also have the opportunity to see how the teachers interact with the other children, and this gives me confidence to leave my daughter in their care while I am at work. Breastfeeding her in the infant room instead of in her own classroom would not allow me to have this interaction with her teachers.

5) I want my daughter to feel “at home” at daycare

I want daycare to be a place where my daughter can feel free to be herself as she does at home. This means that I don’t want her to feel excluded or ashamed because she is breastfeeding. I fear that making her move to another room to breastfeed will make her feel that way, especially if she gets the message that breastfeeding is for “babies,” not for “big girls,” and that it is something that she can’t do openly at school.  I believe that you share these ideals, based on your educational philosophy which states: “We believe that young children need to feel safe, be loved and receive positive feedback and attention. We believe that all children need to be encouraged to develop their unique personalities and explore their interests. All children and their families are respected and valued for their differences.”

—–

I am happy to report that after reading my letter, the daycare director immediately withdrew her previous decision and told me that I was welcome to nurse my daughter in her classroom any time I’d like. I continued to nurse her on my lunch break until she was 21 months old, and the decision to stop at that time was completely mine.

I have been going to La Leche League (LLL) meetings since Munchkin was born, for 5+ years now. I have been to 7 different LLL groups in the area, but most of my time has been spent with the same one, and I have gone to almost every meeting at that group in the last 5 years, missing only when I was out-of-town or sick. I feel very dedicated to this group, and to LLL as an organization. I have been the treasurer of our group for over a year now.

But I am not a Leader. I have considered it many times, but I just never took that step.

Why not? Here are a few of the reasons that are holding me back:

1. I don’t want to be restricted in what I can say at meetings. LLL Leaders represent the organization, and there are times when the Leaders can’t speak on certain topics because of that role. For example, sometimes someone will ask for a recommendation for a doctor, or someone will ask a question about circumcision or another topic. LLL has a pretty strict policy about not mixing causes, and Leaders cannot speak to these topics because they represent the organization. But I can, and I do. I don’t like the idea of being restricted in what I can say. I also wonder who will answer these questions if I cannot, and the other leaders cannot either. Sometimes there are many mothers at a meeting and someone will be there who can speak to those questions, but other times the meetings are small.
2. I don’t really want people calling me at my house. I could probably do a little better as an email contact resource. But my style is more to pick and choose which questions I feel comfortable and qualified to answer and just answer those, leaving other questions to those with experience in that area. I’m not sure I want to be available to all-comers.
3. I don’t really like talking about newborn issues. A lot of the newcomers come to LLL with newborn questions, and I just don’t feel like that is an area that I feel the most knowledgeable or passionate about. It feels like such a small part of my own breastfeeding journey, and so long ago. I think it is hard for me to relate to newborn issues.
4. Some people seem to think of LLL Leaders as a free Lactation Consultant, and I don’t think I want that job. I don’t know that I want the weight of responsibility on my shoulders for someone else’s breastfeeding success or failure. I know that I wouldn’t really be responsible for another’s success in that way, but I fear that I would feel that way. When you are a leader, people look at you with more authority, and that translates to feeling more responsibility. As an active member, I am just a mother giving advice, and I feel very comfortable with that role, but I’m not sure how it would feel different as a leader giving advice.
5. I don’t want to do it just for the sake of doing it. I dropped out of my PhD program because I realized that I was in it just for the degree, not because I actually wanted to do the things that a PhD does. Now I have a Masters degree and a job that I like. I fear that becoming a LLL Leader would be like getting my PhD, that I’d just be doing it to say that I did it, not because I actually want to do the things that a Leader does.

Yep, I've read all of these

Now don’t get me wrong. I pretty much live and breathe breastfeeding. Many people do already consider me an expert and come to me for advice. I pass out breastfeeding advice just about daily, whether in person or online. When I’m not talking or writing about breastfeeding, I’m reading about it. I support the mission and philosophy of LLL. I don’t think I’d mind leading meetings – that doesn’t intimidate me as much as it used to. And I am already involved in a lot of the planning and management part of our group as the treasurer.

Last night I was asked to consider (again) becoming a leader, but I’m just not sure if I want to do it. My leader thinks it would be an easy process for me and that I could get it done in a matter of weeks based on my current experience level (I thought the process would take closer to a year).

But is there a good reason to become a leader vs just being an active member with a group job? I could, perhaps, be swayed!

I hear people say that they want to use bottles so that their husband/partner can bond with baby by feeding the baby a bottle. I’ve heard this as the reason from people who decided to feed formula, people who decided to exclusively pump, and people who decided to breastfeed but give bottles too.

We used a bottle occasionally with Sweets to keep her used to it before she started daycare (Munchkin never took a bottle), but my husband did not feel that it was a bonding experience, just a chore, and we would not have done it if I wasn’t going back to work. Maybe his opinion was formed as a result of having never fed Munchkin a bottle, so he knew he could bond with Sweets without a bottle too. He preferred other activities, such as holding, rocking, bathing, and playing with her for bonding. There are so many ways for a father to bond with his baby besides giving bottles.

Here are a few ideas (Note that mothers can also use all of these techniques, whether breastfeeding or not):

1. Hold baby on your chest



2. Take your shirt off – hold baby skin to skin



3. Sit with knees up and baby facing you on legs



4. Look into baby’s eyes



5. Rock baby



6. Talk to baby



7. Sing to baby



8. Dance with baby



9. Read to baby



10. Play with baby



11. Get down on the floor with baby



12. Kiss and hug baby



13. Touch /caress/cuddle baby



14. Wear baby



15. Go outside with baby



16. Bathe baby



17. Sleep with/near baby



18. Let baby sleep in your arms



19. Change baby’s diaper



20. Feed baby solids (when old enough)



So go ahead and breastfeed, and don’t worry about your partner needing to give baby bottles just in order to bond. Your partner will be able to find many other ways to bond with baby.

***

I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!

You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

My first daughter, Munchkin, did not take a bottle. Even at daycare, even when I was back to work full-time. It was stressful at first, but it all worked out for us in the end. She reverse cycled and I nursed her on my lunch break. Her daycare teachers offered her bottles daily, though she never did take one.

A friend of mine had the opposite problem – her baby would only take a bottle and wouldn’t latch to the breast. She ended up exclusively pumping, but hated it and wished that her baby could nurse.

My pediatrician told me that “nipple confusion is a myth” but my experience is to the contrary. Obviously, many babies can and do switch between bottle and breast with no problem, but some have a strong preference. And you can’t know if your baby is one who will have a preference until it is too late!

When Sweets was born, I knew that I would be going back to work when she was 4 months old, and I hoped that she would take a bottle while I worked.  Here is what I did do to introduce a bottle until I went back to work, with the intention of avoiding preference for the bottle:

1. I waited until breastfeeding was well-established, about 4-6 weeks, to introduce the bottle for the first time. The breast and the bottle require a different type of mouth/tongue position, and I didn’t want her to develop a poor latch due to confusion with the bottle nipple. Some people suggested that I should start giving her a bottle from day 1 just to be sure she would take it, but I was afraid of nipple confusion/preference, and chose to wait.  I felt that if my baby was going to have a preference, I would rather she take only the breast than only the bottle.
2. I always used a slow-flow bottle nipple. My breasts didn’t come with fast/slow options. I didn’t want my baby to become accustomed to a fast flow bottle and then be frustrated at the slower flow of my breasts.
3. I used a small amount of milk in the bottle, 1-2 oz at home. My goal was not for her to have a full feeding from the bottle at that time – she just needed enough to become accustomed to the bottle. I know that it is easier for a baby to take a larger feeding from a bottle, and I didn’t want to stretch her stomach so that she needed that larger feeding to feel full. Then she might feel unsatisfied from a feeding at the breast. I continued to keep her portions small in daycare too, and never sent bottles with more than 3 oz.
4. I always had someone else, usually my husband, feed her the bottle. I stayed out of the room and used that opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with Munchkin. I never fed her the bottle myself – I wanted her to know that the only option from Mama is nursing.
5. We did not use a bottle every day, but aimed for 2-3 times per week so that she didn’t forget. I think that was the main mistake we made with Munchkin – she took a bottle a few times early on and we thought everything was fine. We went 2 weeks without giving her a bottle, and then she never took one again.We wanted to give Sweets a bottle often enough that she didn’t forget, but not so often that she expected it while at home.

I didn’t enjoy pumping at home, and my husband didn’t enjoy having to feed bottles either. We both found the bottle routine to be very cumbersome, and if I wasn’t going to be going back to work we would not have bothered with the bottle at all. As soon as I went back to work, the one upside was that we never had to give bottles at home anymore!

***

I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!

You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

It seems like I hear more stories about mothers being given a hard time for nursing in public in the summertime.  Just in the past month, there was the story about the mom on the bus, the mom at the YMCA, and the mom at Whole Foods.  I posted a link to the Whole Foods story on my personal Facebook page, and a friend commented:

So she was not asked to stop just show some modesty about it… I know I’m probably asking for trouble here but why is that not an acceptable compromise? Personally I have no issue with babies eating where they or the mothers please and take no notice of or issue with BF in public but understand why in a public store a degree of modesty would be requested. Its not like she was exiled to have to do it in a dirty bathroom or asked to leave (which I do think would have been very wrong) rather it seems to me she is looking for a fight. If it was simply that her baby needed to eat then and there she could have done so but acknowledge the request for modesty caused by the discomfort of another shopper. Her right to feed her baby was not taken away.

1. The law is on the side of the nursing mother. There is no legal obligation for her to cover.  In my state, the law reads, “A woman may breast feed in any public or private location where she is otherwise authorized to be, irrespective of whether the nipple of the mother’s breast is uncovered during or incidental to the breast feeding.”
2. The nursing mother has no greater moral obligation to appease the bystander than the bystander has to appease the nursing mother. And it follows that the discomfort of the bystander does not have greater importance than the discomfort of the nursing dyad.
3. Discretion
   

   This wasn't discreet enough for some because her head wasn't covered

   is subjective and means different things to different people, ensuring that it is impossible to mandate.  It can mean anything from covering the nipple to covering all flesh to covering the entire baby.  Whose definition of discretion should be used? The nursing mother should cover to the level that SHE is comfortable with. That choice is up to her and nobody else.
4. Discretion is often used as an excuse when the real problem is with breastfeeding itself. Mothers have been told not to breastfeed their babies in public even when completely covered by a blanket, or otherwise not showing any skin (such as in my case).  It’s not just that those people don’t want to see you breastfeeding, they don’t even want to know you are breastfeeding.
5. Many mothers who are trying to be discreet feel that using a cover draws MORE attention to themselves. It says “Hey! Look at me! I’m nursing under here!” If a mother just casually lifts her shirt, she is likely to draw less attention to herself.
6. Covers can be impractical.  Many babies refuse to be covered and will just pull a cover off anyway. When my baby was little, I wanted to be able to see her and check on her latch.  In the middle of July, in the heat wave we’ve been having, it is too warm to be covering baby’s head unnecessarily anyway.
7. Modesty refers to “Behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency”.  To say that a breastfeeding mother is not modest, says that breastfeeding itself is inherently improper or indecent. When strangers, particularly those with some kind of authority, tell a nursing mother to cover up, they are attaching a negative stigma to breastfeeding. They are implying that there is something dirty, shameful, or wrong about it.
8. Fear of nursing in public is one reason many women cite for weaning early or choosing not to breastfeed at all. In order for breastfeeding to become normalized in our society, we need to remove the stigma that says that breastfeeding is improper.
9. Bottle-feeding should not be socially preferred over breastfeeding.  My wish is that breastfeeding mothers be able to feel comfortable feeding their babies in any place, and with as much “discretion,” as would a bottle feeding mother.  Suggesting that a nursing mother needs to cover up while a bottle-feeding mother would not, implies that bottle-feeding is more appropriate than breastfeeding.
10. It is good for society to see uncovered breastfeeding.  Breastfeeding needs to be seen in order for it to be normalized compared to bottle-feeding.  We also need to see examples of breastfeeding in order to learn it ourselves because we learn by seeing it modeled. I believe that a major reason why mothers today have so many more problems with breastfeeding than they have historically is because they have had little exposure to breastfeeding.

Melissa K. of The New Mommy Files wrote in Prioritizing to Find Balance on the Natural Parents Network

My agreement with a cause does not equate to passion. I think gender-neutral parenting is important, for example, and I strive to raise my child without the pressure to fit into a stereotype. The reality is, however, that I am just not as passionate about that particular issue as I am about working to ensure that all women have the information and support they need to breastfeed their children for as long as is mutually desired.

It’s true: Agreement does not equate to passion.  There are many things that I do as a parent, deliberately and with thought.  But I can’t say that they have all become my passion the way that breastfeeding has.

Sweets on my back in the mei tai

I  have a friend who I would say is passionate about babywearing.  She has many carriers, is active on TheBabyWearer forums and is even a moderator, and she started her own local babywearing club.  I babywear too – I have a few carriers, I have posted before on TBW (though I’m not active), and I attend our local babywearing group regularly.  I have rarely even used a stroller except at somewhere like the zoo!  But I wouldn’t say that babywearing is my passion.  It’s just something that I do.

I know people who are passionate about cloth diapers.  Who use cloth from day one, 24/7, and who want their baby to never have to wear a disposable diaper the way I want my kids to never have to taste formula.  I use cloth diapers on Sweets, though I didn’t on Munchkin.  I use cloth at daycare, when I’m traveling out of the house, and even out of town.  But I use ’sposies overnight.  I am active on DiaperSwappers, though it’s mostly in the breastfeeding forums. I wouldn’t say that cloth diapers are my passion either.

Sweets shows off her fluffy Mutt butt

I know people who are passionate about carseat safety.  Who collect carseats the way some collect baby carriers or cloth diapers!  Who become CPST certified because of their passion.  I practice extended rear-facing and harnessing with my kids.  Munchkin RF until she was over 3.5 years old, and Sweets probably will too.  I have an account on car-seat.org, but I only use it for asking questions to the experts there.  I can’t say that carseats are really my passion either.

Munchkin rear-facing at 3.5+ years old

I know other people who are passionate about circumcision or vaccines or spanking.  And these are just the “mommy” topics!

But breastfeeding is my passion. Why?  I know people who breastfeed and it’s just something that they do.  They aren’t that concerned with exactly how long they are going to breastfeed, or whether they supplement with formula now and then, or societal issues surrounding breastfeeding.  They don’t have a desire to join a group like La Leche League to talk about breastfeeding.  It’s just something that they do and it’s part of their life and that’s it.  What turned breastfeeding from ‘another thing that I do’, to my passion?

I first decided that I would breastfeed when I was in college and I took my first immunology class. I was really interested in immunology, and it is what I later went on to study in graduate school. But that first class as an undergrad is when I first learned about how the immunities transferred in breast milk, and I was really struck by how important that was. I knew then that I would breastfeed. My continuing studies in immunology just reinforced that more.

When I became a parent, I did breastfeed. But in the beginning it was basically because of nutritional and immunological reasons – probably the reasons that a lot of people start out breastfeeding. It was for the milk, the food. As Munchkin got older though, breastfeeding became about more than just the milk for me, it became a way of life, a way of parenting, integral to my relationship with her. If I couldn’t breastfeed a future child for some reason, I feel like I don’t even know how I would parent.  It’s not that I think bottle-feeding parents can’t bond with their babies, but my whole way of life would be different, and honestly I would worry that our bond would not be like what I have with my two breastfed kids. Some see breastfeeding as just another way to transfer milk into a baby, a feeding method – I don’t anymore. It is part of my lifestyle now, part of my whole way of parenting.

Sweets nursing at 2 years old

I never knew that breastfeeding would be so integral to my lifestyle.  I had always thought of it as just a feeding method before.  It made me wonder – why didn’t I know this before?  Why didn’t anyone tell me how life-changing this could be?  It made me want to tell other people about it, to spread the good news, so that others could experience this too!  Someone once compared it to how religious missionaries feel – “My life has been changed for the better! I want to tell everyone about it so that they can experience this too!”

When Munchkin was 5 weeks old, I was told by a store manager that I couldn’t breastfeed her in his store. That set off an anger in me that led me to research my rights, and it led me to a community of other mothers who breastfed too. In that community, I heard stories over and over from women who were told that they couldn’t breastfeed, not only in public, but because of medications they were taking or because they were going back to work or because their baby was low on the growth charts, etc etc.

And over time, I saw that so many of these mothers were really being misled. There are rights to breastfeed in public. You don’t have to choose between breastfeeding and working. There are meds for most conditions that you can find a way to breastfeed with. Babies come in all shapes and sizes – they are not all 50 percentile. I heard so many stories of moms being sabotaged in their efforts to breastfeed.

And still, I hear more stories. Women are told that birth interventions don’t affect breastfeeding rates, that they should send baby to the nursery to get some sleep, that there is no such thing as nipple confusion, that formula is necessary to fix jaundice, that colostrum isn’t enough in baby’s first days. Women are told that they shouldn’t let their baby suck for comfort or they should only nurse every 3 hours or that they should always stick to 15 minutes per side. They are being told that their milk has no value after X months, that they can’t nurse while they are pregnant, that they shouldn’t nurse a toddler. And, they are told that it doesn’t really matter, that formula is just as good.

Because of the health implications of breast milk feeding, but also because of the value that I place in my own nursing relationships with my kids, I feel so frustrated that so many mothers’ nursing relationships are being subverted in this way. It makes me want to dispel the misconceptions and help other women to breastfeed. It has fueled my passion and led me to become a breastfeeding advocate.

What is your passion, and how did it come to be more than just ’something you do’?